Recently, friends had a beautiful baby boy who was unexpectedly born with health and developmental challenges. They could barely hold him and waited at the hospital for those rare time the nurses would tell them they could touch their baby. All of this while caring for their first born and recovering from the birth itself....and trying to remember to eat and drink. Such an unexpected event shook me. I hear about pregnancy and I celebrate and look forward eagerly to the birth story. I assume nothing will go wrong. I'm accustomed to a world wherein if difficult things happen I can work really hard and make it better. This wasn't like that. I can't even imagine what it must have felt like for my friends. And, I'm really far away from them so I can't even be of help to them.
One of the health issues is that he has holes in his heart. They are hoping that some of them will seal up on their own but if they don't he will need surgery on his heart...at around the age of 4 months. Oy. It's too much.
To feel closer to them and combat my own feelings of impotence I quickly stitched some fancy japanese bias tape around the edge of a newborn kimono top and sent it off to them. A friend who lived in France once informed me they apparently call wrap sweaters 'heart huggers' because of how they wrap around and hug the heart. I'm thinking of this in the same manner...a heart hugger for a heart that desperately needs a hug.
4 months ago